第一章：在逃亡中出生
The year is 1975 and April was hot and sticky humid in a tiny village in Thailand. My mom was having a very difficult time carrying me after escaping from Pol Pot’s Cambodia. My family had caught the last flight out of Cambodia before the military shutdown the airport. My mom was crying and my grandmother made her promise to do anything she could to save them when she could. She would honor that several years later. Not everyone made it.
My family fled to Singapore on a tourist visa where my dad’s family lived. Unfortunately, the immigration laws were very strict and any citizen caught helping an illegal immigrant would be each fined $4,000. We would have also been fined $1,000 each. Their last hope to travel Thailand where my mom’s grandfather lived. There I was born. It was not easy for my mother.
Her attempt to abort me failed when the doctor was on vacation and was not returning for another 3 months. She couldn’t wait any longer. My 2nd uncle had begged her to keep me because all children are blessings and gifts. She couldn’t take the pain and suffering. I don’t blame her. No electricity, no AC… mosquitoes as think as hitting a swarm of bees. If you didn’t have a mosquito net, you would get Malaria and without any medicine… dead. I cannot even imagine what my mom had to endure. Unfortunately I was born.
My mom was wishing for a girl until she saw my big feet… Then prayed that I was a boy. Her wish was granted. A few days later they reached a refugee camp in Thailand. My dad spoke English and taught English to wealthy children in the Ruby Mountain in Cambodia.
My mom was born in 1945 in a tiny town in Cambodia. . She was the oldest of 12 born Her family was VERY poor. No running water, no electricity, and the bathroom was the back of the hut over the Mekong river. At age 16, she traveled to Communist China to attend high school where she met my dad.
My dad was born in 1940 in Singapore. He had a ginormous giving heart and was super generous to anyone and everyone… The issue… he liked to give and spend someone else’s money and never learned to work. He was very charismatic, charming, and a hypochondriac.
In his youth, my dad spent his days swimming in the deep blue ocean filling his belly with fresh fish they caught everyday… This level of sun would haunt him later in his 80s as the cancer began to express itself slowly through growing sores, crusty patches, and endless dry skin from years of dancing in the sun. He came from money and was very spoiled. He was the youngest of 3 children. I never met his siblings or his parents. I’ve only met 3 of his cousins I believe. I will have to work on getting those details. For now, this is by memory and me asking my mom or brother.
You see, my dad has early onset dementia. He is in his late 80s and he has more bad days recently… as recently as last night. It shows that no matter how good you may have things under control, there are always wildcard things that can throw your life into a tornado in an instant.
For example my mom breaking her femur in October, my dad falling and hitting his head while we were in Orlando shopping at an oriental food market off of Colonial then again when we were picking up our Kangen water machine from getting it serviced. In an instant, your life can change and you must pivot whether you want to or not.
In Communist China, in high school where they met, my mom ran out of money and could no longer pay for a food voucher. My dad stepped in and paid for her ticket along with other classmates. That act of kindness bonded the two together. Years later they would get divorced due to physical and verbal abuse. And after he spent the wealth they were supposed to have, my dad returned because he ran out of money. They now live with me, still divorced, and I now have the honor to care give for both of them.
I remember a time when I came home from university and the restaurant was somber. No one would talk to me. It was weird. Where was my mom? I can’t remember who told me. “She’s in the hospital. It’s bad.” The rage and anger that was born that day would haunt me for the rest of my life until recently.
I won’t go into detail until my mom gives me permission. That story is for her legacy. I am practicing writing with mine to honor and protect her. I pray you understand the severity of the topics and how deep this conversation will be. I pray that you will cry with me and laugh with me as my mom did. I owe that to her.
How about you? What conversations do you owe your parents… even if one or both were total SOBs and jerks to you. Have you looked in a mirror and owned up to your own SOB and jerk moments.
I continue to apologize till this day. I’m sorry I burned the house down. I’m sorry for losing $200K of your money. I’m sorry I got in trouble with Johnny Law and lost my job, got black balled for over 5 years and struggled. I really really struggled. And yet, I survived it all. I love my life with tons of passion and velocity. I speak truth to power and just let things be… Let it be… Let it be… Speaking words of wisdom… Let it beee eee.
In 1958, when my mom left Cambodia at 16, her parents had 7 kids, 3 girls and 4 boys. My 4th uncle was just a baby. In 1968, 10 years later, she would return. 5 more siblings were born… 1 boy and 4 more girls. By this time, my parents were married and my older brother was born. I would be born 7 years later.
1975年，四月，泰国一个偏僻的小村庄里，天气炎热潮湿。我的母亲在逃离波尔布特统治下的柬埔寨后，怀着我，日子过得非常艰难。我的家人搭乘了最后一班飞离柬埔寨的航班，之后机场就被军方关闭了。我的母亲哭泣着，我的祖母让她发誓，只要有机会，一定要尽一切努力拯救他们。几年后，她兑现了这个承诺。但并非所有人都幸免于难。
我的家人持旅游签证逃到了新加坡，我的父亲的家人住在那里。不幸的是，当时的移民法非常严格，任何帮助非法移民的公民都会被罚款4000美元。我们每个人也会被罚款1000美元。他们最后的希望是前往泰国，我的外祖父住在那里。我就出生在那里。我的母亲过得很不容易。
她试图堕胎，但医生休假了，三个月后才回来。她等不了那么久了。我的二叔恳求她留下我，因为所有的孩子都是上天的祝福和礼物。她无法忍受那种痛苦和折磨。我不怪她。没有电，没有空调……蚊子多得像蜂群一样。如果没有蚊帐，就会感染疟疾，而且没有药……就会死去。我甚至无法想象我的母亲当时经历了什么。不幸的是，我出生了。
我的母亲一直想要个女儿，直到她看到我那双大脚……然后她祈祷我是一个男孩。她的愿望实现了。几天后，他们到达了泰国的一个难民营。我的父亲会说英语，并在柬埔寨的红宝石山教富家子弟英语。
我的母亲1945年出生在柬埔寨的一个小镇。她是12个孩子中最大的一个。她的家庭非常贫困。没有自来水，没有电，厕所就是小屋后面湄公河的河岸。16岁时，她前往共产主义中国上高中，在那里遇到了我的父亲。
我的父亲1940年出生在新加坡。他有一颗无比慷慨的心，对任何人、任何事都非常大方……问题是……他喜欢花别人的钱，而且从来没有学会工作。他非常有魅力，风度翩翩，但同时也是个疑病症患者。
年轻时，我父亲每天都在深蓝色的大海里游泳，吃着他们每天捕捞的新鲜鱼……多年来在阳光下暴晒的经历在他80多岁时开始显现，癌症慢慢地在他身上蔓延，表现为溃疡、结痂和皮肤干燥。他家境富裕，从小被宠坏了。他是三个孩子中最小的。
在共产主义时期的中国，我父母在高中相遇。当时我母亲没钱了，付不起饭票。我父亲伸出援手，帮她和其他同学付了饭票。这份善意让他们俩走到了一起。几年后，他们因为家庭暴力（包括肢体和言语暴力）而离婚。在我父亲挥霍完他们本应拥有的财富后，他因为没钱又回来了。现在他们和我住在一起，虽然已经离婚，但我很荣幸能够照顾他们。
我记得有一次我从大学回家，餐厅里气氛沉重。没有人跟我说话。感觉很奇怪。我妈妈去哪儿了？我不记得是谁告诉我的。“她在医院。情况很糟糕。”那天产生的愤怒和悲伤一直困扰着我，直到最近才有所缓解。在我妈妈允许之前，我不会透露细节。那个故事是关于她的，是她的遗产。我正在练习写作，用我的文字来纪念和保护她。我希望你能理解这些话题的严重性以及这段对话的深刻意义。我希望你能像我妈妈那样，和我一起哭，一起笑。这是我欠她的。你呢？
1958年，我妈妈16岁离开柬埔寨时，她的父母有7个孩子，3个女孩，4个男孩。我的第四个舅舅当时还是个婴儿。10年后，也就是1968年，她回到了柬埔寨。又出生了5个兄弟姐妹……1个男孩和4个女孩。那时，我的父母已经结婚，我的哥哥也出生了。7年后，我出生了。